Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
