Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
