At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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