I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
