Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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