Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
