I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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