If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
