It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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