dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
