Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
