This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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