Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes

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(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..

(256): View more from Alabama

everythings easier when your wearing a toga.

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(208): View more from Idaho

he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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(727): View more from Florida

Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.

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