Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

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  (508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.

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  (410): remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that. http://tfl.nu/awcg
  Replies (21) Good night (3869) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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  (404): He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying http://tfl.nu/0ccm
  Replies (8) Good night (3139) Bad night (3899) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.

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  (843): I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you. http://tfl.nu/lcu4
  Replies (11) Good night (937) Bad night (4227) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no

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  (678): Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no http://tfl.nu/k1du
  Replies (1) Good night (3237) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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  (828): Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times. http://tfl.nu/we9q
  Replies (12) Good night (2772) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Adult decisions.

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  (206): Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility? (206): Adult decisions. http://tfl.nu/m22f
  Replies (3) Good night (1762) Bad night (776)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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  (732): This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms. http://tfl.nu/i073
  Replies (3) Good night (1465) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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  (913): i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us http://tfl.nu/7y99
  Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Anderson Cooper just came out.

  (212): View more from New York

  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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  (917): Anderson Cooper just came out. (212): Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor. http://tfl.nu/cxy2
  Replies (5) Good night (1430) Bad night (800)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan

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  (785): Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan http://tfl.nu/6u1u
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.

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  (856): I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now. http://tfl.nu/hfm5
  Replies (7) Good night (930) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.

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  (570): She needs more friends. Or a second therapist. http://tfl.nu/00pk
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.

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  (541): I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila. http://tfl.nu/lzm1
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt

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