It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.