We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
