At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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