I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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