Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
