You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I will pee on everything he values.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
