ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize