Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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