Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
