I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
