I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
