I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
