I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The beer is more important than you right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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