shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
