just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
