dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
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once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.