Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting