i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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