Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
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Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
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Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.