kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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