Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I showed him my bush... on skype.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
