Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
