Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
birth control should be required to get into college
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
