He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
