So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
