i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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