I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
