HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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