I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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