remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
