I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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