wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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