It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
