So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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