i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.