Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
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wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him