I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.