also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize