who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.