Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?