I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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