Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
