Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize