That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
