You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
