I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that's an acceptable place to lick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
