Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
