I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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