I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
