yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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