Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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