i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
