Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
