Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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